Monday, March 31, 2008

That old song


You might have read about the 148-years-old French recording. Here's the 10-second clip, which sounds like the soundtrack for a horror movie.

Au Clair de la Lune--French folk song (mp3)

Freaky stuff.

In case you missed it, here's a video with the story, via the Associated Press.

Visit http://www.firstsounds.org/ for more information.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Breaking (expletive) news

The headline: "Spitzer was directlty involved in anti-Bruno plot, prosecutor says"
The players:
* Eliot Spitzer.
* Former Spitzer aide Darren Dopp.
* State Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno.
The issue: "Troopergate"
The best line:
"Dopp said Spitzer then used vulgarities to describe Bruno and ordered Dopp to 'shove it up his (expletive) with a red-hot poker.'"
The explanation:
According to the (expletive)ociated Press, a probe found that Spitzer tried to embarr(expletive) Bruno by p(expletive)ing records of Bruno's legal misuse of state planes to the press in an attempt to (expletive)asinate Bruno's career.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Shameless self-promotion

Did you read the Freeman's new column, which runs on Wednesday's in Life?

A reader asked me to post some reference links online on the subjects I've written about.
So here they are:

* Odd things people do in spring

Reference guide: Ulster County Toursim ("Winter is a Wonderland in Ulster County"); Dutchess County Tourism; Greene County Tourism

* Abbreviations and acronyms? NIMBY 4ever!

Reference guide: http://www.acronymfinder.com/

* The Rights of Bill (for dummies)

Reference guide: The Bill of Rights

Some other feedback I've received:

* "I don't get it."
* "What's your point?"

What's my point, indeed.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

New car


The Blount County Sheriff's Office's "new" 1973 Volkswagen Beetle cruiser is pictured on Saturday, March 22, 2008, in Maryville, Tenn. Assistant Chief Deputy Archie Garner put as much as $2,000 of his own money into restoring the car which was seized in a DUI case. (AP Photo by Robert Wilson, Knoxville News Sentinel)

So what happens if there's a police chase?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Waste this!

YouTube, the Web site that gracefully allows its users to wonderfully waste their time, recently announced the winners of its second video contest.

There were 12 categories, from the adorable "Adorable" category to the creative "sports" category.

The "Creative" category wasn't sporty, but had the best video.



The video's beautiful waste of human resources recreating the biggest time-waster of all time will make you feel better about wasting your time watching it.

The Associated Press alerted me to this story.




With a video, of course. I can't waste my time reading.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spell this!

Here are two words used in last year's spelling bee.

* Kohlrabi
Definition: Not a car
Root: Actually, a member of the cabbage family
In sentence: I rather eat chocolate

* Recidivist
Definition: A book of Zak Sally's comics
Root: Actually, a member of the cabbage family
In sentence: 5 years probation




I don't no Y people kneed spelling B's. I always spelled things write because eye use spell checks.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Cutline contest, part III


Presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., remembers he's 71 years old and running for president.

Cutline contest, part II




Presidential candidate Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., shows the proper way to suck thumbs to a crowd of hungry revelers at the Buffalo chicken wings festival.

Your move

Cutline contest, part I

Write a caption for this Associated Press photo!




Here's mine:

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., reconsiders executing a physical act of contrition for comments made by his former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

I know you can do better.

Sex season

Paterson begins his term by admitting past affair
...
Can a state legislator without a closeted skeleton please stand up?

Anybody?

Please?

Friday, March 14, 2008

Mysterious' girl

After Spitzer-gate, she's no longer so.

(Warning: this music video is predictably cheesy and rated "MA," even though the very-soon-to-be-ex-governor does not appear here)

Pop Off


She's got 13 minutes left.

From an AP story:

(Ashley Alexandra) Dupre also made an appearance in a video by the rapper Mysterious, director Jonathan Ehlers told Los Angeles TV station KCAL on Tuesday. In the video, Dupre is cast as the girlfriend of Mysterious, at one point making a vulgar hand gesture while lip-synching lyrics that include an expletive.

"She was very professional," Ehlers said. "Again, she was really warm. She had a great vibe and she was really fun to be around."

He said they haven't talked in a year. When he heard the news, Ehlers said, "I was shocked. All I could think was, I wondered where she was and I hoped she was all right."

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Poughkeepsie on film

With fake newscasts!



Visit http://www.poughkeepsietapes.com/ for more "information" about the horror movie with the horrible title and tag line:

"The Terror is Real."

It is not.

The film premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival last year. It was originally going to open in February, but the opening was moved to a more proper time...

... around Christmas.

But what's really horrific about this "torture porn" movie -- rated "R" for Radistic Riolence and Rorture, Rincluding Rerror and Raphic Rescriptions -- is the fact that it has its own MySpace page.

(Attention ladies: "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" is a single male, 33, from Los Angeles.)

So pay "him" a visit and remind the gullible visitors that this thing was not based on a true story.

Or you can sell them a bridge.

And, hey, Poughkeepsie! Get a DVD player, would you?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Who's that lady?


Ashley Alexandra Dupre, 22, has been identified by The New York Times as the "Kristen" that had an encounter with "Client 9" (She is named in a federal affidavit as having a Feb. 13 rendezvous with soon-to-be-ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington).

The Times published photos from her MySpace music page (I'm doing just one).

She also has a page for her music at http://amiestreet.com/ashleyalexandradupre.

She has one (bad) song, and here are of the chorus lyrics:

“I know what you want, you got what I want. I know what you need. Can you handle me?”




She's got 14 minutes left.

Headline hemorrhage

Today’s top headlines:

“Hooker Happy” -- New York Daily News
“Hooked!” – New York Post
“The sordid details: 80K and unsafe sex” – Metro NY
“Trystin’ In the Wind” – Newsday

Winner?

“Fed Offers Wall St. Banks New Loans to Ease Crisis” - The New York Times



Note to news organizations: Photos of news organizations waiting for things to happen are pointless. If it wasn't, you’d see this in the paper tomorrow:


“Life editor Ivan Lajara sits at his desk waiting for an e-mail about things that may or may not happen. For details, go to page C1.”

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Today's headlines

* “HO, NO!” – New York Post



* “Pay for Luv Gov” - New York Daily News

* “Eliot’s sorry state” - Metro NY

* “Client 9” - AM NY

* “Eliot & The Call Girl” - Newsday

* “Ilegal” - Hoy (That's in Spanish, so you're going to have to translate it yourself)


You can see the rest of the country's headlines at the Newseum. And yes, most papers used the photo with that expression, because a picture is worth $4,300.

UPDATE: ... a picture is worth $80,000.

Allegedly, of course.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Scandal

I cannot believe what happened today.

I am referring, of course, to the scandalous poll which found that most Americans don't read political blogs.

Since I have ventured in that realm occasionally, the whole thing probably means that most of you are not reading this.

That's only proper. I doubt you'd want to get your information about "Client-9" from blogs or from former New York Sen. Al D'Amato, who told Fox News that his "pretty reliable sources" had told him that Gov. Eliot Spitzer had resigned (he hadn't and hasn't as of this writing).

I don't have political authority or, thanlfully, D'Amato's sources. But I can link. So here's some video about the story, via the Associated Press. The Freeman's all over this, of course, so check it out tomorrow.

Don't read this: Tanya Hollander of Rhinebeck, who was linked by federal investigators to the pricey prostitution ring, arranged meetings for "Client-8," according to the 55-page affidavit.

Friday, March 7, 2008

And again

I told you I wasn't going to stop.

Weirdest Pet, 2008 winners and finalists:

Thursday, March 6, 2008

AWWW again

If you don't tell me to stop, I'm going to keep doing this.
Best outfit finalists and winners, Freeman Pet Contest, 2008:



You've been warned.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

AWWWWWW!

Here are some of the finalists and winners of this year's pet contest, which were printed on Feb. 18.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

EXTRA! EXTRA!

Bethel Woods Center for the Arts, the original site of the 1969 Woodstock festival, has just announced its first five concerts for the summer.

They are ...

... embargoed (my least favorite word in this business) until tomorrow.

Check out the Freeman Wednesday.
For less information, visit www.BethelWoodsCenter.org

Smokin'!

At the end, there was smoke. But there was no fire.

A plan to ban the fumes of acetone, ammonia, benzene, cadmium, carbon monoxide, formaldehide, hydrogen cyanide, lead, tar and nicotine (otherwise known as smoking) at parks and municipal property in the city of Kingston (otherwise known as Kingston) stalled on Monday.

There should be no need to tell grownups about the very well documented dangers of smoking. But the people who make cigarettes keep changing their formulas, so further studies are always needed. Case in point, a study reanalysis by the unreliable people at Harvard University found that nicotine concentrations went up 11 percent in a 7-year period.

Tobacco companies are the only ones that add stuff to their products and don't tell their customers. How nice.

Yet, there also should be no need to pass unenforceable laws, which is one of the arguments made on Monday at the city meeting. The symbolic law argument is as sad as the fact that I was smoking when I was reading the article (I laughed, I coughed, I laughed some more).

The Tobacco Free Action Coalition of Ulster County has plenty of non-symbolic steps to inform youngster and address the problem.

Those of us who choose to live a shorter life of yellow teeth and ashtray breath are undoubtedly making a bad decision.

But that (cough) shouldn't translate into bad laws.

Note: The preceding view has not been endorsed or disavowed by the Freeman, which has a non-smoking building, a non-smoking editorial board and bad looks and good lectures toward a certain Life Editor every time he's caught smoking outside.